


temporary scars

by alwaysgolden



Series: temporary scars / february stars [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Coming Out, Fluff and Angst, M/M, No Smut, i don't know what made me want to write this, it's very emotional, some doubts about coming out, they also cuddle, they kiss. A Lot., they make a coming out video, they talk about their love and it's very sappy, uhm.... they cry a lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:47:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24794131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alwaysgolden/pseuds/alwaysgolden
Summary: harry and louis publicly come out.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Series: temporary scars / february stars [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1793317
Comments: 8
Kudos: 50





	temporary scars

**Author's Note:**

> i was listening to "february stars" by the foo fighters and this lyric just Hit really hard so i decided to write the first half. i never thought of writing the interview but i got some encouragement from my lovely gc and this is the end result. i held off publishing it because there were (and still are) more important matters that need attention, and i quite frankly forgot about this until i was going through my docs. anyway, here it is. i hope you enjoy.
> 
> also please note that this doesn't have a beta so any spelling mistakes are my fault!

It’s one of those quiet nights where the world seems to come to a complete standstill, nothing in the outside world matters when it’s just Louis and Harry tangled together in the sheets. Harry’s been asleep for some time, his back rising and falling with each even breath, his mouth parted slightly as soft snores slip past his pouty pink lips. Louis gently runs his fingers through his boy’s hair, curls just starting to grow back and looking as beautiful as ever. Louis gently scratches Harry’s scalp, watching him sleep peacefully. 

Louis knows he should get some sleep, but he can’t stop his thoughts from racing. Tomorrow is an important day, but Louis can’t get his mind to turn off. So, he watches his boy get much needed rest. He carefully untangles his legs from the duvet covering his legs and stands from the bed, quietly walking towards the window. The sky is so clear for February, stars littering the sky and the moon illuminating the room with a soft glow. It’s just over a week since Harry turned 28, and Louis can already tell that this year is going to be a big one for the two of them. Harry wrestles under the covers, turning and rubbing his eyes and looking at Louis. 

Louis’ silhouette looks so stunning under the moonlight, and Harry can’t help but smile lazily to himself. Louis turns to look at him, walking back to the bed and crouching down, cupping Harry’s face with his hand. 

“Hey you, go back to sleep.” Louis whispers quietly, pressing a kiss to Harry’s forehead. 

“Could say the same to you.” Harry mumbles, turning his head and kissing Louis’ hand. “Except you never went to sleep, did you?”

Louis shakes his head, and Harry motions for him to lay down. Louis returns to his side of the bed, going to wrap himself around Harry’s back when Harry turns to face him and he holds Louis against his chest, hand spreading out across his lower back and pulling him close. 

“Baby, I know you’re nervous about tomorrow.” Harry whispers in his tired voice, fingers of his other hand drawing shapes on Louis’ shoulders. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Louis sighs, burying his face into Harry’s chest and breathing in his scent. It relaxes him, fills him with an overwhelming sense of comfort and familiarity. 

“Louis, please. We’re in this together.”

Louis draws in a deep breath and begins the whirlwind of thoughts he’s expressed a thousand times over. He knows he won’t feel better until it’s all over, but just being alone with Harry and feeling his presence is enough to make it all feel a little bit more bearable. 

“What can I say that hasn’t already been said?” Louis chuckles, speaking into Harry’s chest. “I don’t know Harry, it’s finally happening and I just want it to go well.” He pauses to gather his thoughts before continuing, “I’m so happy we’re… us. I love you more than anything in this entire world and I hope you know that. I’m terrified that once we go public… I don’t want it to ruin us. I love our privacy, but at the same time I know we’ll be helping a lot of people, and it’ll be so nice to not hide anymore. We have so much explaining to do. I… we have so many things to work through and I’m terrified to start undoing it all at once. There’s so much to do and I’m afraid to face it all right away.”

Harry sighs and pulls Louis closer. “I know Louis, but we’ll be alright. We have each other to go through it with. We’ve been through so much worse, I think this will turn out to be a beautiful thing, right? It’ll be hard at first, but I promise you everything will be alright, just like it always is. Just like it will always be, as long as we’ve got each other.”

Louis nods, “I love you so much.”

“I love you, Louis.”

Louis pulls away from Harry’s chest and looks at him with tired eyes. Harry smiles at him and leans his forehead against Louis’. Louis closes the space between them, eyes fluttering shut and hands moving to wrap around Harry’s neck. Louis is so afraid, he’s terrified. He clings onto Harry like a lifeline, kissing Harry with everything he has in him. He feels tears filling his eyes and a hiccup rising in his throat, but he keeps kissing Harry to keep it from slipping out. Harry pulls away to catch his breath, panting heavily with his breath fanning against Louis’ face. 

“Hey, hey. Lou, look at me.” Harry coos quickly, moving a hand to catch Louis’ tears.

“I can’t talk about it anymore. There’s nothing else to say about it.” Louis hiccups, tears falling down his cheeks and wetting the pillow. “Just want to kiss you and pretend like we aren’t taking the biggest risk of our lives in a few hours.”

“Okay.” Harry nods, biting his lip. “Okay.”

Louis knows this look, Harry’s holding back his tears to keep Louis from getting even more emotional. Louis knows Harry inside and out, he knows every look and every touch and every movement, and soon the whole world will know he does, too.

“Please just let it out Harry.” Louis begs, voice cracking. “Don’t hold it in for me.”

Harry surges forward and kisses Louis quickly. He’s frantic, desperate. He claws at the bottom of Louis’ shirt, struggling to get it up over his head. Louis pulls away and helps Harry get it past his face. Louis moves so he’s on his back, and Harry wastes no time finding Louis’ lips again, his hands holding Louis’ waist tightly. Tears fall down Louis’ cheeks, they mix with Harry’s as their noses squish together and their lips move in a messy, deep kiss. Louis sobs into the kiss, Harry’s fingers loosening their grip and his kisses becoming softer. He pulls away from Louis’ lips and kisses his jaw and across his chest gently, mumbling sweet nothings against his skin after every brush of his lips. Louis feels Harry’s tears fall against his chest, so he holds on a little tighter, reassuring Harry he’s there for him.

“We’ll be alright. You’re amazing. You’re so, so beautiful. I love you. I love you. I love you.”

Louis’ fingers tangle in Harry’s hair, pulling at the strands as his lip quivers. Harry looks up at Louis with teary eyes and swollen lips. With his free hand, Louis wipes Harry’s cheeks. 

“Come here.” Louis says quietly. Harry hovers over Louis, eyes filled with worry. “I love you.”

Harry leans down and kisses Louis. He pulls away, bright green eyes overflowing with tears. He brings a hand to cup Louis’ cheek, rubbing the stubble with the pad of his thumb and leaning down to kiss his forehead. 

“Haz, we’ll be alright.” Louis assures, thinking if he says the words out loud it’ll make what they’re going to do a little easier. 

Harry nods, moving to lay down next to Louis. Louis turns so he’s on his side, back pressed against Harry’s front. Harry drapes an arm across his hip and pulls him close. He kisses the bare skin of Louis’ shoulder blades a few times before he rests his chin on Louis’ shoulder.

“You and me, forever and always.” He whispers into Louis’ ear. 

Louis grabs Harry’s hand and laces their fingers together. He brings his knuckles to his lips and kisses them. 

“You and me, forever and always.” Louis whispers. 

Harry falls back asleep, and Louis finds himself drifting in and out of slumber. He watches as the moonlight turns into sunlight, fighting back tears the entire time. 

And then Harry’s alarm is going off, which means they have to start getting ready, and their lives are about to change forever. 

Breakfast is quiet. The two are too nervous to eat, so they sit at the table and bask in the quiet over coffee. Both are afraid to move to start getting ready, but it’s Louis who makes the first move from the dining table, Harry shortly behind him. 

They showered the previous night, so Louis only brushes his teeth and runs his fingers through his hair to make it look presentable. When Harry is dressed, Louis stops and smiles at him. They’re both dressed simply and comfortably, but Harry always looks beautiful, and Louis can’t help but tell him whenever he has the chance.

“My boy.” He says softly. “My gorgeous boy.”

Harry opens his arms for Louis, who immediately steps into the touch. They stand there, wrapped up in each other for a few moments.

“Are you ready?” Louis asks, looking up at Harry. 

“Now or never, baby.” Harry chuckles nervously. 

Louis takes Harry’s hand and they slowly make their way downstairs. They’re actually doing it. On their own terms, on their own account. Harry brings his laptop to the living room and sets it up, all he has to do is press ‘Record’ and the video will start. Once it’s done, they’ll post it, and then the world will know.

Louis sits next to him, resting a hand on his thigh and giving him a ready look. Harry presses the button, and the little green light flashes on the camera, signaling the start of the recording. They wait a few moments to speak, Harry the first to break the silence. 

“Hi everyone.” Harry says. “You may be confused by this, by Louis and I, I mean. But uhm…”

Harry looks down at their feet, blinking back tears. Louis squeezes his thigh reassuringly, and picks up where he left off. “Harry and I are in our house… together. We’re together.”

“We’ve been together.” Harry whispers with a hoarse voice, looking at Louis. 

Louis nods, tears falling freely down his cheeks. “You might be confused, or you might have guessed it at this point, but Harry and I… this is… uhm… our coming out.”

Louis closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “My God this is so hard. Why is this so hard?”

Harry grabs Louis’ hand, letting out a shaky breath. “There’s… there’s a lot of things you guys don’t know, and a lot of things that you may want us to explain.”

“We just want you all to know that… we’ve been through a lot to get to this point, and there are things we will happily tell you about after the news is out, and other things that are… that may be too hard to talk about.” Louis bites his lip, burying his face in his hands and trying to hold back a sob. “We’ve been through so much and…”

Harry rubs Louis’ back and continues speaking to the camera. “We’re finally able to tell you now and we’re so happy to be open with you all, but we still would like some privacy. Like Lou said, some things we can talk about, others we can’t or don’t want to talk about and we hope you can understand that. But we wanted to let you all know that we’re together, we’re happy, we’re so in love, and that’s all that matters.”

Louis composes himself, “Thank you for the support over the years, too. You don’t know how much it means to us. We truly love you all so much.”

Louis and Harry look at each other for a few moments.

“What else do we say?” Louis whispers, and Harry lets out a soft giggle.

“I don’t think there’s anything else to say. They know the truth now. It’s up to them what they want to do with it.”

Louis nods, lacing his fingers with Harry’s once again. They look at each other for a few moments, and Louis is reminded of the curly haired, pink cheeked, bright eyed boy he fell in love with all those years ago. He presses a chaste kiss to Harry’s lips, cracking a soft smile as he pulls away. Harry wipes a few more tears from Louis’ cheeks and returns the smile. 

“Oh, it’s still recording. Uhm… we love you guys, thank you for supporting us. And I love you Louis Tomlinson.”

“The secret’s out.” Louis says quietly. He turns to Harry, smiling as the tears come rushing down his cheeks. “I love you too Harry Styles.”

Harry ends the video, letting out a deep breath and sending it to Louis. They post it at the same time, Harry shuts his laptop immediately and Louis locks his phone. They promised each other they wouldn’t look at anything for a while unless it was their families, letting the new sink in with the rest of the world. 

“We did it.” Harry lets out a sigh of relief. 

Louis buries his head in his hands, the realization hitting him. He can hear his phone buzzing like crazy, but he ignores it. Instead, he lays in Harry’s lap and sobs. Harry rubs his back and cries too. 

“I’m so proud of you.” Harry says quietly when Louis sits up. “You’re so strong and brave and I’m so glad to be yours.”

Louis hiccups, laying his head on Harry’s shoulder and searching for his hand. “I wouldn’t want to do this with anyone else. I love you so much Harry.”

Memories of everything leading up to this very moment come flooding back as they sit there in silence, squeezing each other’s hands every now and then as a reminder that they’re there for each other and that they always will be. It’s been a long battle that left them scarred, but Louis knows with time those scars will fade and everything they’ve been through will be a distant memory that led them to this beautiful moment. 

They don’t bother checking their phones for the rest of the day, they lay low and share soft kisses and intimate looks. At certain points one is hit with an overwhelming feeling of emotion, and the other is there to catch the tears or give a touch of reassurance. Later that night the pair are completely exhausted from the emotions of the day, and they lay together in their bed, the stars and the moon filling the room with a soft glow. They’ll worry about the world’s reaction tomorrow, tonight is just for them.


End file.
